I Cannot Forget The darkness of distrust crushing a soul Seasons of fear a reminder of the Rock upon which I stand Witnesses of joy in innocence in simplicity in community The struggle to comprehend what my eyes have seen within confusion is the unending drive to search in wonder Above all I cannot […]
emotions
I’m at an emotional low right now, so maybe later I’ll feel differently about these words I’m about to write. I’m drained. From the ever-present pressure to counter seemingly hostile stares with a smile. From being so done with some people. From just feelings of unrest. Sometimes when the preschoolers are chasing me during recess, […]
Relationships
I jealously guard true relationships. They fulfill my desire for connection, evoke my necessary times of joy and mourning, encourage and criticize me. From America to Rwanda, my relationships have unfailingly nurtured my maturation and provided new insight daily. Here are six of my most important ones in Rwanda. Cathy Emmerson The Canadian Barbara Corcoran. […]
Piecing together my unknowns
I don’t know what to think. Every stare, every building, every hour evokes a thought of uncertainty and internal searching. Week One in stunningly beautiful Rwanda has felt like a eternity of pondering upon acceptance, justice, and difference. It feels impossible to understand my thoughts and bring about any closure. Here are various short stories […]
Arrival
A flood of anxiety slammed into me. Yeah, it sounds like I’m trying to be dramatic, but even I couldn’t believe how scared I suddenly felt. As I boarded my flight to Rwanda, alone and tired at 11:45pm, a ton of feelings hit me. “Why didn’t I just choose an Asian country??” Any dark connotations […]
Departure
A loner’s journey begins. Today, I embark on my 8-week solo trip for my Loewenstern Fellowship in Musanze, Rwanda. Since my acceptance into the program in November 2016, my perspective and expectations for this trip have significantly shifted. I used to be very skeptical of those “hey let’s go help Africa” volunteer trips (and still sorta […]
Independent Service Project (ISP)
Rwanda General Facts: from the CIA World Factbook Major Religions: Roman Catholic 49.5%, Protestant 39.4% Official Language: Kinyarwanda Population Breakdown: Africa’s most densely populated country – 12,988,423 Ethnic Groups: 84% Hutu, 15% Tutsi, 1% Twa Birth Rate: 33.3/1000 people Death Rate: 8.8 deaths/1000 people Urban Population: 28.8% of the total population lives in urban areas **School […]
Journal 3: Ethical Service Guidelines
Last class, our conversation revolved around guidelines to ethical service engagement. This is a serious topic not only because of the thousands of dollars invested into each Loewenstern fellow, but because each of us hope to make the most out of our experiences. After the discussion and more thought, I decided that I would focus […]
Journal 2: Goals for my Service Experience
As I was in the process of applying for the Loewenstern Fellowship, my mom prayed for me: “God, I pray that You will be faithful to close this door if it is not your will. But if You do open this door, I ask that Loewenstern will be an especially rewarding and fulfilling experience.” God has […]
Journal 1: Reflecting on International Development
When I applied to the Loewenstern Fellowship, I stated that one of my main aspirations was to “seek out my unknowns” through the experience. I am already beginning to see those unknowns surface. I’ve discovered that international development has numerous layers to uncover. The temptation to follow my own pride, the stigma of trying to […]