I jealously guard true relationships. They fulfill my desire for connection, evoke my necessary times of joy and mourning, encourage and criticize me. From America to Rwanda, my relationships have unfailingly nurtured my maturation and provided new insight daily. Here are six of my most important ones in Rwanda.

Cathy Emmerson
The Canadian Barbara Corcoran. Her fierce tenacity and unwavering time management pushes herself to her best each and everyday. After reaching success in the real estate business, Cathy restarted her life in Rwanda after initially coming as a tourist gorilla trekker. When she saw how easy it was to make a difference here, she sold all her possessions in Canada, and gradually established PREFER. My 3 weeks at PREFER have only begun to uncover the full extent of Cathy’s impact on her community. From the preschool, to primary six and adult classes, to care packages and goats, to a gathering point of international volunteers, PREFER’s fruit is undeniable. One of the most touching moments was the graduation party of Joseph – 1 of 5 young men whose entire education was fully funded by Cathy. In his speech, Joseph referred to Cathy as his light and savior because when his father had just passed away, he would’ve had to drop out of school had Cathy not stepped into his life. Cathy saw something in him, and invested in him. He now has a Masters degree in Economics, with the ambition to begin his own international business ventures. Joseph tenderly ended his speech with “Thank you Mom”. Cathy’s life is the picture of a simple yet purest form of charity. She simply lives life with her fellow Rwandans, and is a mother to children in need. This is love.

Sophie Rankin
Loewenstern alumni told me that being alone in a foreign country would extraordinarily speed up my maturation. Thanks to Sophie, I am not alone…

But I am falling in love. With British romcoms.

Sophie is a 19-year old British girl from Worcestershire (woo-stah-sheer), England. She’s taken a gap year, and came to PREFER as her final trip before beginning university. We pretty much spend all day every day together, so I’d say we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. Things I’ve learned about her: she looks forward to new experiences with an innocent eagerness, she doesn’t know how cute she is (literally every Rwandan guy asks for her number though, so she’s learning), and she’s a lowkey rebel. Sophie is my co-teacher in the afternoon classes (count on me to embarrass her in front of the students), my fellow Sunday church attendee, my “late night” movie buddy (aka after 6pm, we’re the only two awake), my let’s-reflect-on-today-and-laugh-at-each-other’s-accents partner, and my best friend in Rwanda. Great experiences are even better when they’re shared, and I’m truly grateful to share them with this one.

Iranzi
I’ve fallen in love with this boy. Amidst the daily horde of hyper preschoolers running and grabbing at me, Iranzi is my breath of fresh air. Despite my broken Kinyarwanda, we manage to communicate and naturally connect with nonverbal cues. I will never forget when I pointed at the two of us, and he said “inchuti” (friends). Iranzi has given me an inside look to a Rwandan child’s mind, and maybe that is what endeared me to him. Every moment with him is an explicit reminder of the purity of childhood. He walks to and from school every day with his little sister. He has a confidence that commands respect from his classmates, an eagerness to learn and engage, a playfulness and pleasure in the simplest of things. I recognize parts of my childhood self in him, yet he comes from such different circumstances. I dream of coming back to Rwanda in 20 years and finding a grown-up Iranzi.

Nadine
Teacher Nadine is one amazing woman, as are all preschool teachers. She teaches the oldest preschoolers, and oversees our primary six and adult classes. And somehow she still has the energy to give me 1-hour Kinyarwanda lessons everyday. Learning the language is very important to me because it symbolizes my desire to know and engage with Rwandans’ culture rather than merely sharing my own. I think Nadine understands that and is doing her best to help. Some of my most precious moments is during our language classes when Nadine just tells me about daily life in Rwanda. I feel like teaching is one of the most tiring jobs, yet I never see Nadine without a motherly smile on her face. That’s something I’ll always remember.

Pacifique (Paci)
Paci is my Protector. Whether I’m headed to the market or to Kigali, he faithfully accompanies me, and I have never felt safer. He quickly understands the situation he is in, and is an effective communicator – a skill which has already helped me out on several occasions. He conveys a strong sense of pride for what is right, a distinct responsibility for his friends’ wellbeing, and an outstanding confidence in his abilities. Headed to graduate school next year for his Masters in Law, Paci holds high expectations for his own professional future, and has the work ethic to back it up (He is also one of Cathy’s select sponsored students). Let’s talk about his pride for a moment. One time, as we just finished a meal, he suddenly flexed his biceps and said “I have big muscles…you…not really.” At first, I was like dang dude prideful much? But with more reflection, I realized the learning experience from being humbled by Paci. Coming to “Africa,” I didn’t really think about meeting men as promising and capable as Paci. His pride and ambition has reminded me to push harder for my own dreams. I seriously think one day Paci is gonna be a big time politician, and Rwanda will be the better for it.

Patience
is my dude. He’s smart, charming, fun-loving, and a successful bank manager. As I mentioned in a previous post, he was a former PREFER teacher, and we first became friends while installing solar lights in a village home. He treats me like a VIP. He’s taken me to his own home, the gym, the pool, and even gave me a portable solar light. I’ve gotten comfortable asking him questions like “What makes you happiest?” and “What is your purpose in life?”, and his answers are always genuine. He sees serving others as his mission in life, and he loves doing so for his customers at the bank. I get the sense that he’s still figuring some things out, like spirituality and his future, but that’s just like me. He’s one guy I hope to have more deep conversations with before I leave Rwanda.